Home Schooled

[okie]

HOME SCHOOLED

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me religion:
"You better pray this will come out of the carpet."

My father taught me about time travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me logic:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My father taught me irony:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about contortionism:
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

My father taught me wisdom:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

My mother taught me about justice:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"



Travis