Aviation maintenance 'squawks list'

[KE4AVB]

Found over on ODK forum

Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, submitted over the years by Pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.

Problem - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. Solution - Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

Problem - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. Solution - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. Solution - No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Problem - Something loose in cockpit. Solution - Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem - Dead bugs on windshield. Solution - Live bugs on backorder.

Problem - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. Solution - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. Solution - Evidence removed.

Problem - DME volume unbelievably loud. Solution - Volume set to more believable level.

Problem - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Solution - That's what they are there for!

Problem - IFF inoperative. Solution - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem - Suspected crack in windscreen. Solution - Suspect you're right.

Problem - Number 3 engine missing. Solution - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem - Aircraft handles funny. Solution - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

Problem - Target radar hums. Solution - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

Problem - Mouse in cockpit. Solution - Cat installed.

Defect: The autopilot doesn't. Action: IT DOES NOW.

Defect: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten. Action: Fresh seat cushion on order.

Defect: Turn & slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns. Action: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

Defect: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown. Action: Pilot removed from aircraft.

Defect: Pilot's clock inoperative. Action: Wound clock.

Defect: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds. Action: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

Defect: #2 ADF needle runs wild. Action: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

Defect: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine. Action: Engine run for four hours. Noise now familiar.

Defect: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like little man with hammer. Action: Took hammer away from little man in #2 engine.

Defect: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment. Action: Returned hammer to little man in #2 engine.

Defect: Flight attendant cold at altitude. Action: Ground checks OK.

Defect: 3 roaches in cabin. Action: 1 roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

Defect: Weather radar went ape! Action: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess!

[KE4AVB]

BTW one of my customers that I had lost it this morning.

Mower came with deck belt off. Restalled deck. It one TB that the decks jumps on start-up which causes it to throw the deck drive belt sometimes. While waiting for the customer to back their trailer so I could load the mower it died. When the customer got her truck I sitting on her laughing myself silly. It was out fuel.

So it has been one of those weeks. Finally something made me feel better especially after working 12 hrs 7 days a week. Where is that little Dutch boy I need to plug a major leaking dike. Just kidding glad to see the work.

[okie]

Some days its chicken.....some days its feathers.

But all the time, you are becoming better educated. , then you can charge more.

Okie

[KE4AVB]

You're Right and I do.

Since with experience on the problems what I charge seems a lot better too. Not all that time given away. At one time repairing a 2 cycle took most of the day, now it takes less than an hour to do just about any repair to them. I just had to teach an old hard head how to repair them. Plus you know you got to get and put away the tools plus the paperwork.

I do have an one hour minimum though I prorate it on the el cheapos. Sometimes you got to give a little to make more later. It like the Little Red I just repaired it took a couple hours as I repair as I had to do the chain too where someone had over-spun the rivets. Boy I hate those chop saw sharpeners. Yes I called them chop saws. Whoever sharpen this guy's chain nearly cut it two in few places. One strap was completely cut in two. The owner was a senior so I gave him a break on the repairs, heck it just some my labor time.