A little humor - probably seen this before, but..

[bgsengine]

From a facebook post I just read ..

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[okie]

Cute--------I've had a few words backfire on me.



Travis

[Franz]

I had the limp before I had the wife.

The mistake that damn near got me killed was mouthing off to her when she was shoveling snow off the top of her van. Leave it alone and I'll shove it off with the loader was NOT the correct thing to say.

Added to the list of incorrect things to say that day was when the ambulance flunkey lifted the blankets covering me on the ice and asked what I was doing. My reply "Winter Camping was evidently NOT what he was looking for.

When they finally strapped me to the teflon coated backboard for the ride to the hospital they retaliated by hitting every pothole on the way. Ambulance suspensions suck!

Since I was already in deep, I requested the head Nurse in ED to check the box on the admitting form indicating I was wearing clean underwear since the little woman was a manager at the hospital and would kill me if another box was checked. She did, when she stopped laughing. She also asked if I had hit my head during my landing on the ice.

I assured her I hadn't, but she insisted on asking the alert & oriented questions anyhow. I was doing good till she asked me "Who is the President of the US?" I said Nobody, Clinton is only there to chase broads and screw things up. She left to bring back additional nurslings and Techs for a Jury on my Alert & Oriented score. I passed with an A+. When asked how I fell I claimed I had mouthed off to the little woman and been knocked down with a snow shovel. About 5 minutes later, the wife walked in with HER mug of coffee from the Nurse Station and began telling me her plans to kill me S L O W L Y! She even unplugged the call button from the wall so I couldn't summon help.

I'm only alive today because I pointed out she wasn't in my will.