a smile maybe

[okie]

In a resent post, the poster quoted someone saying " I hit something he says".

It reminded me of this sign just down the road from Bobodu's house.





Okie

[okie]

Subject: Fw: A Farm Kid Joins the Marines



> Dear
> Ma and Pa,
>
> I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother
> Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch
> by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all the placesget
> filledup.
>
>
> I was restless at first because you get to
> stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to sleeping late
> now. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is
> smoothyour
> bunk and shine some stuff. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to
> mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
>
>
> Men got to shave but it is not that bad, becausethere's
> warm waterhere.
> Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,
> etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant,
> pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit
> by the city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you
> until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't
> walk much.
>
> We go on "forced marches," which the
> platoon sergeant says isnecessary
> to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him
> different. A "forced march" is about asfar
> as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all
> ride back in bigtrucks.
>
>
> The sergeant is like a school teacher. He
> nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and
> colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
>
>
> This next will kill Walt and Elmer with
> laughing. I keep getting awards for shooting. I don't
> know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and
> don't move, andit
> ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got
> to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load
> your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
>
> Then we
> have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to
> wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though,
> they break real easy. It ain't like fightingwith
> them boys back home. I'm about the best they got in this except
> for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him
> once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds
> and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.
>
> Be
> sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get
> onto this setup and come stampeding in.
>
> Your
> loving daughter,
>
> Alice

[okie]

Four surgeons sit around discussing their favourite patients.
The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the backside and head are interchangeable."

[okie]

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." -

[okie]

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it.

[okie]

Keeping sharp in retirement



As we age, we often get careless about safety issues.
I know, I saw it right away too....
No safety glasses or hearing protection.
And I caught something else that is really important: He has no gloves on.

I might be up in age but I am still sharp as a tack.

We need to stay alert for dangers. Stay safe, my friend.



Okie

[okie]

So what's wrong with this???

An engineer's wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:

"Shepherd's Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees."

[okie]

The one I like is the German tower (Which by the way is Ground Control) talking to an American Pilot "Haven't you ever been here before"

Just once, in 1942, but we didn't land, just dropped some stuff off.

[okie]

[okie]

Here's a few more

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter pilot that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

And this is my favourite!!

Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."