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Doomed

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Doomed

Postby okie » Wed Feb 22, 2017 9:24 pm

Our society is doomed..............

IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please".
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her.

IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the
keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly
to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
His reply: 'I know, I already got that side. '
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give
me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put
anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company
due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life,
Couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.

STAY ALERT! They walk among us......and they VOTE, and have babies.

For all of us who are seniors...
The reason why baby diapers have brand names such as Luvs and Huggies,
while undergarments for old people are called Depends:
When babies poop in their diapers, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em.
When old people poop in their diapers, the reaction Depends on who's in the will!


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:usa: :usa:
John 3:16
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Re: Doomed

Postby KE4AVB » Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:42 pm

Got the last sign wrong. Should picture a foot with toes. :lol:

Now if I can only find my VooDoo stick...
The truest measure of society is the how it treats its elderly, its pets, and its prisoners.
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Re: Doomed

Postby RoyM » Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:37 pm

When I was at university, students learned to take advantage of a cashier in the student union cafeteria. They would order 3 or 4 dollars worth of food, hand her a two and get money back. She only knew how to make change for a five. Must have been an education major.
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Re: Doomed

Postby bobodu » Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:00 am

This is ALWAYS good for a laugh if there is a line behind you. When the barista asks for your name to put on the nine dollar cup of coffee, say " Call me Ishmael.". They will always ask "How do you spell THAT?". You can take it from there...... :popcorn:
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Re: Doomed

Postby bobodu » Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:04 am

RoyM wrote:When I was at university, students learned to take advantage of a cashier in the student union cafeteria.

We had a guy like that down here years ago..."As a penniless student at the University of Chicago, Saul Alinsky hit upon a clever way to eat meals without having to pay for them. Alinsky – viewed by many progressives as the father of the social justice movement – described this technique in an interview given to Playboy magazine just before his death in 1972.

In those days customers in the university cafeteria system didn’t pay the waitress; rather, they went up to the cashier and paid. Alinsky first went to the cashier and ordered a cup of coffee; at that time it cost a nickel. The cashier would write him a ticket listing that price. Then he would go to another cafeteria and order a full meal. The waitress would give him the check for the meal. Alinsky would then pocket the bill for his meal and submit his nickel ticket to the cashier. By switching checks, he was eating full meals and paying just for his cup of coffee.:
"Give me a fast ship, for I intend to go into harm's way."
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Re: Doomed

Postby StarTech » Tue Feb 28, 2017 9:38 am

We are doomed as many places I ask don't accept Federal Reserve Notes saying they only take cash, credit cards, and checks; anything else forget it.

Also it is apparent that convenience stores around here have a dress code for service. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. It must be okay to get service with No Pants, No Skirt as long as you have a shirt and shoes on.
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