New style (for Bobodu-)

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Had a coffee shop here and the sign at Christmas said "Put coffee bucks in there stockings". I called them up and told them... it's "THEM there stockings".
I also liked " 20% off trees and shurbs".
I got stuck with the job of doing our sign every week because I went to Catholic schools.

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I got stuck with the job of doing our sign every week because I went to Catholic schools.

I don't know why, but I thought you went to the school of "Hard Knocks".

Maybe that was Carl

Travis

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Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on theTexas Highway Patrol.
The instructor conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"
The three blondes all nodded.
The instructor got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture,and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture!
It's a side profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "Whatabout you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes!He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady?
This is a side profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but...."
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrewit, saying, "All right, did you notice anythingdistinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses. "
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wearglasses."